Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Hammer Films made its mark with color-drenched Gothics, but the British studio will forever have the gratitude of bizarre-cinema connoisseurs for emitting the mind-janglingly strange The Lost Continent, the only movie to locate the hidden linkage between man-eating weeds, busty Christian women, the Spanish Inquisition, and Freud's "vagina dentata." 

In film's the ho-hum opening, Capt. Lansen (Eric Porter) and his skeezy crew smuggle explosives on a threadbare ship packed with desperate but photogenic passengers with interesting names such as Unity Webster (Suzanna Leigh, also of Hanmmer'sLust for a Vampire). A storm hits, and what had seemed no more than a feh adventure programmer promptly loses its mind. In a mysterious mist, assorted passengers are attacked by the aforementioned weeds and some hideous killer mollusks, while others run afoul of conquistador survivors living on a Spanish galleon, also the home of a rubbery, sucking-pit orifice with very sharp teeth. 

And we haven't even mentioned those busty Christian girls, who, as luck would have it, are able to walk on water courtesy the big balloons attached to their shoulders. Screenwriter Michael Nash, who adapted Dennis Wheatley's novel, was never heard from again.

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